Parkinson’s Disease: Three Steps to Maintaining Intimacy During the Coronavirus - Part I
Coronavirus is permeating every aspect of our lives, including intimate and sexual life, couple and family relationship. Most people in the world are in lockdown, experiencing major changes in their routine habits and behavior. Consequently, we may anticipate changes in couple relationships, intimacy and sexual activity.
Intimacy and sexuality have a beneficial effect on health and quality of life of every person, especially people who live with a chronic and progressive disease like Parkinson’s disease (PD). The combination of a stressful pandemic and a chronic challenging disease requires a sensitive consideration and efforts to support harmony within a couple.
As a sex therapist, and expert in sexual rehabilitation of people who cope with chronic diseases, I would like to share my experience by highlighting some issues concerning intimacy, sexuality and coronavirus. I will also offer practical suggestions to help you keep a satisfying intimate relationship. We all need the strength emerging from a supporting human connection.
Over a series of posts this month, I will address the following topics:
1. How to maintain good couple intimacy in the age of Coronavirus?
2. How do we cope with changes in desire and libido discrepancies in the time of Coronavirus?
3. How do I manage my sexual and intimate life, when I’m single young person with Parkinson’s disease?
This article will address the first topic:
How to maintain a good couple intimacy in the age of Coronavirus?
The coronavirus has produced a unique challenge on long-term relationships: “how to cope with too much togetherness?” You are in lockdown, stuck together in a limited space. Feelings of frustration and hopelessness may surge, and couples find themselves in endless arguments, which keep them apart. The main problem is to balance between two important aspects of love, attraction and intimacy “closeness and separation.” If we use our imagination, we may find that it is similar to the popular musical instrument: the accordion. This instrument produces wonderful melodies by compressing and expanding. This principle may be quite helpful to couples in confinement. You should plan two different kind of sessions in your daily schedule, being together and separate:
(1) “Personal time” – allow each one of you to take 1-2 hours a day for him/herself. Personal time will enable each, the care partner or the person with PD, to be alone, without a need to listen, to talk or be empathic with your partner. Close the door and choose what you do (work on your computer, take a long bath, talk to friends, listen to music, read or sleep). It doesn’t matter, as long as you are not disturbed. If you still have children living with you, your partner will have to guard your separated precious personal time. Couples who allow themselves short-term separations, may find that it empowers their need to be together and even may fuel their desire.
(2) “Couple Time” – schedule a date. Choose a day, hour, location (living room, bedroom etc.). Now prepare yourself, exactly as if you’re going out to a concert, a lecture or a restaurant. Take a shower, shave, put on makeup, perfume, get dressed (change out of your training suit or sweatpants). Now it’s your special opportunity to enjoy some quality time together. Try to find something that you can enjoy such as: dancing, browsing old albums, reminiscing about a vacation or a special event, playing cards or domino, watching TV together (rather choose a comedy, as tragedies we have plenty every day). You can hug or touch gently one another (no sex!). This is a couple time, designed to make you feel close and remind you of the friendship that maintains the relationship.
Stayed tuned for Part II of this blog post.
Gila Bronner, MPH, MSW has spoken at the past four World Parkinson Congresses and helped as a program committee member for the fourth World Parkinson Congress in Portland, OR, USA. She is a senior sex therapist, the founder and the former director of the Sex Therapy Services, a researcher and a sex therapist at the Institute of Movement Disorders, at Sheba Medical Center in Israel.
Ideas and opinions expressed in this post reflect that of the authors solely. They do not reflect the opinions or positions of the World Parkinson Coalition®