Good Communication: The Foundation of Connection and Understanding
Effective communication is the essence of a good relationship. We all want to be heard and understood. Communication is a two-way process and becomes even more important when Parkinson’s disease (PD) is part of the equation. Effective communication between couples that are living with a chronic illness has been shown to reduce stress and improve coping strategies due to increased mutual understanding, feeling more aligned and experiencing more joint planning.
How does Parkinson’s disease impact communication?
It has been shown that 80% of communication is non-verbal. Non-verbal communication is not only body language but also tone and pitch of voice, body movement, eye contact, posture and facial expression. For people with Parkinson’s disease, many of these things change. These changes are gradual and can have an impact on communication unless one is aware and proactive.
The good news is that communication is a skill and like all skills it is something we can learn and improve with practice. If you are the person with Parkinson’s disease or care about someone with PD, below are some important skills for improving communication.
Be aware of subtle changes in communication.
Since physical changes are gradual in PD, the impact on communication can happen without our awareness. Self-assessment about changes and then talking openly about these changes is a huge first step in improving communication. If you don’t name it, you can’t change it. Discuss what you each have noticed and how it affects you. Being open and honest is a sign of strength.
Learn to listen.
What does it mean to listen? We are often thinking of what we are going to say rather than using our concentration to listen. Listening is a very active process. It requires paying careful attention to the words being spoken and also the non-verbal messages. Diminished facial expression and other non-verbal movements in PD increase the risk of misunderstanding. With Parkinson’s disease it becomes especially important to clarify what the listener understands is being said. Statements like “I want to be sure I understood what you were saying” can be very helpful in improving communication.
Emotional awareness
Emotions play a major role in how we communicate. Emotions can either enhance or destroy good communication. Two key elements are self-awareness of our own emotions and awareness of the emotions of others (i.e. empathy).
Self-awareness of emotions involves recognizing the emotion you are having and developing skills of self-control. We all experience a spectrum of emotions. Rather than thinking that an emotion like anger or frustration is negative it is more important to focus on how to control that emotion. The goal is to be aware of an emotion as it evolves and then practice self-control in how it is expressed. This does not mean hiding your emotions, but it does mean reflecting on what triggers an emotion and developing a plan of self-control.
Understanding the emotions of others also enhances communication. This can be done by good listening and observing non-verbal messages. Because the non-verbal cues are diminished in PD it may be important to use questions to understand or clarify that you are interpreting feelings correctly.
Questioning skills
To really understand what someone else is communicating requires good questioning skills. Asking questions allows us to obtain more information and clarify what we think we heard. It prevents us from making false assumptions and also conveys that we are truly interested in what the other person has to say. It is part of good listening and part of genuine empathy.
Julie Carter RN, MN, ANP was the recipient of the WPC Award for Distinguished Contribution to the Parkinson Community at the 4th World Parkinson Congress and served on the Program Committee for the 5th World Parkinson Congress. She is an emeritus professor of Neurology at the Oregon Health and Science University (OHSU). She is also the co-founder of the Parkinson Center of Oregon and Movement Disorders Program.
Ideas and opinions expressed in this post reflect that of the authors solely. They do not reflect the opinions or positions of the World Parkinson Coalition®