Parkinson’s disease: Three Steps to Maintaining Intimacy During the Coronavirus - Part III
Coronavirus continues to spread across the globe and permeates every aspect of our lives, including intimate and sexual life. This pandemic is sending people home for self-isolation and social distancing. Consequently, many find themselves alone. As a sex therapist and an expert in sexual rehabilitation and intimacy, I would like to share my experience by highlighting some issues concerning intimacy, sexuality and coronavirus. I will also offer practical suggestions to help you keep your sexuality.
This article is the third of a series of posts, that was preceded by:
Part I - “How to maintain good couple intimacy in the age of Coronavirus?” and
Part II - “How do we cope with changes in desire and libido discrepancies in the time of Coronavirus?” This third and final post will address the topic:
How do I manage my sexual and intimate life, when I’m single young person with Parkinson’s disease?
Parkinson’s disease (PD) commonly affects middle-aged and more senior individuals. When individuals under 50 years are diagnosed with PD, the disorder is called young-onset Parkinson's disease (YOPD). People with YOPD experience the disease differently. They may be in the middle of life challenges, trying to maintain relationship, cope with raising kids and workplace demands, and engage in their own care. Some of them may be single, not involved in any relationship. Others may have an intimate partner who lives in a separate home.
If you’re single and cohabitating with your intimate partner, I recommend reading the first two posts in this series, on maintaining good couple relationship and coping with desire differences.
This post will refer to single YOPD persons who live alone at home. All over the world, the coronavirus affected sexuality of single persons with or without PD. Many of them feel profound loneliness, they miss emotional and physical contact with others and are confused about maintaining their sexual life. Before giving practical advice, I wish to elucidate the term “sexuality”.
Sexuality is an essential aspect of our life which contribute to emotional and physical strength, increases self-esteem and confidence, decreases stress, boosts mood and reinforces the immune system. However, it is important to emphasize that sexuality is much more than “Erotic Sexuality” (having sex, masturbating and reaching orgasm). Sexuality embraces another valuable aspect: “Non-Erotic Sexuality”, which includes love and affection, physical touch, e.g., hugging, cuddling, kissing, and emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy is a special interaction between people who feel closeness and openness, dare to be vulnerable and share genuine feeling (fears, frustrations, hope, joy and satisfaction). Emotional intimacy can occur between friends, work colleagues, family members, with your kids and within the couple relationship.
So, how do young people with PD maintain their sexuality (erotic and non-erotic) with social distancing and interruption of all cultural events due to the coronavirus pandemic? The best strategy is to evaluate the achievable options, take responsibility and make the upmost of the situation. Hereby are some options:
1. Stay connected: call, text or plan video sessions with a friend or family member.
2. Contact your health care providers. All experts are available online. Choose those that make you feel good, the neurologist, PD nurse, psychologist, physiotherapist, psychiatrist, social workers etc.
3. Find new friends and meet online. Use digital technologies designed to bring people together, to communicate, to do things together (like play games, join book clubs, dance class or study group. These applications enable communicating over voice, video and text. For example: you may use Discord application to do that https://discordapp.com/
4. Love yourself and take care of your mood. Do mood lifting activities (watch comedies, listen to music, join online physical activities or dance classes). Limit the amount of time you spend reading or watching the news.
5. Plan a special dinner session with a friend or with your intimate partner. Take a long nice shower, shave and get dressed elegantly. Set the table, pour a glass of wine/coffee/ beer/ juice and connect through a video apps.
6. Maintain your sexual needs by masturbating, by planning intimate moments via video chatting with your intimate partner, use sex toys (if appropriate for you) or even remote-controlled vibrators.
7. Look for online professional advice for your sexual problems. Facing the current stressful months may change your sexual function. If you have any sexual problems, you may contact a urologist (for erectile dysfunction), psychologist or psychiatrist (for decreased desire due to depressed mood and anxiety). You may find online sex therapists who can assist you in maintaining or creating an intimate / sexual relationship, and in coping with various sexual problems.
8. Get used to open communication: PD is a progressive disease. Getting used to discussing sexual issues in an open and simple way will assist you in gaining the positive contributions of intimacy and sexual life to your well-being.
Gila Bronner, MPH, MSW is a senior sex therapist, the founder and the former director of the Sex Therapy Services, a researcher and a sex therapist at the Institute of Movement Disorders, at Sheba Medical Center in Israel. She has spoken at MDS congresses and at past World Parkinson Congresses.
Ideas and opinions expressed in this post reflect that of the authors solely. They do not reflect the opinions or positions of the World Parkinson Coalition®